My love, Ryan, and I had a rocky relationship. It was full of lies, deceit, and hurtful words. Of course there were the good times, times that I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world...but the more time went on, the less I felt that way. Throughout all the bad, I still didn't want anything other than him. Every time him and reached out to each other after several months of not speaking, the bond we had and the love we shared seemed to be more than perfect. But yesterday, reality struck me...
When two people break up after a true relationship, an emptiness is left within the two people. Eventually the two will talk again and second guess whether they should be together or not. If the two choose to try it again, well that's when you have entered the "in between" phase. The phase where there are no fights, no worries, just pure happiness. This is due to the fact that a couple trying to build a relationship isn't going to fight and bring up issues from the past, ruining what they've started. Once you move past this phase and get back into the relationship, getting comfortable... this is when the fights, lies arise, and problems from the past bring back an unhappy relationship...the reason you two broke up in the first place.
In my situation, I will always love Ryan. Even if he has put me through a long heart-wrenching two years, he will always be a major part of my life. But as of last night, I made it clear that we will never be together. Something that put me in tears to say, something that I couldn't stand telling the guy I love, but something that was much overdo. Two people who become each other's poison should not try to be together again. Now I will go back to the life style I am most comfortable with... not letting a single person in and keeping all senses of relationships and affections far away, for I am most happy when I am alone
Yours truly,
Amanda Rae
I really wish I had the mind set you have amanda rae. It would be 103 million times easier If I did.<3 --- Katie.
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