We never know where we are going to be years down the road. Some of us have plans to travel the world and some don't have plans at all. I plan to join the Navy. But in five years, being stationed to another base... I never know where I'll end up, who I'll meet, or if I'll even still be here. I think it's always good to bring some of your past to your future. For those who say, "the past is the past", you are wrong! The past is every part of who you are today. I want to write my future self a letter, just to remind myself of some of the things I've been through that I believe I should never forget.
Dear Amanda,
I'm writing this letter at eighteen years old. Right now you're sitting in your room listening to your soul music as you call it. The mix of The Fray, Dashboard Confessional, and a bunch of other alternative bands. You're reasoning for writing this letter is so you never forget the things you wanted to always remember. If you think back to your teenage years, you'll remember it was never easy. During those times, you learned a lot of things about life... a lot of life lessons you always wanted to portray as you grew up.
Who knows if you're in a serious relationship with someone right now. I don't think you will be, for you never really believed in getting serious with anyone. After mom and dad got divorced, you made it clear that you don't believe in love. If you do have a significant other, always remember those things you went through... those boys that proved your non-belief in love right. Make sure he is worth your time... I don't want to be riding off all these good guys I'm encountering if I'm just going to fall for some scum bag later on in life. Remember that trust and honesty is everything in a relationship. You don't deal with liars!
I hope by the time you read this letter...things with the family are better. As of right now, I don't speak to half of them. If it isn't better, always remember that you can't choose family. As you grow up and realize family won't always be around, you'll be upset. But it's important to remember all the things they did and said to you. Hopefully they realized that you aren't everything they said you were and acknowledge that you were trying to better your life by becoming a better person.
Speaking of becoming a better person... I hope you are still sticking to the decision I made. The decision to keep alcohol out of your life. If you are drinking, I know it's because you are over the age of 21 and it's legal for you to drink. Remember, a sober moment is always cherished more than a drunken moment. To know that every decision you make will be made by a sober mind and not a mind that is under the influence is something you should be proud about. I know you'll never pick up the drugs again, but I don't ever want to let the alcohol consume my life again. So if you are drinking, remember the prison you toured? Remember the stories of those girls... the mother who killed her own children? Remember how it felt to be locked up in shackles and handcuffs with the things those guys were saying? You don't ever want that life again.
I just hope you are doing all the things you wanted to persue when you were younger. Your dream for life was to be in the Navy for twenty years, following two people in your life that always influenced what you did... your father and your brother. You had dreams to always strive for a higher excellence and retire becoming an art teacher... the dream you've had since you were twelve. Right now, you are all about proving yourself to others. I hope by the time you read this letter, you realize that you don't need to prove anything to anyone but yourself. Also, hopefully as you read this letter... you've learned to take your own advice.
Yours truly,
Amanda Rae
ps. Another thing I hope for, is for you to finally be okay with your real last name and not substitute it with your middle...
No comments:
Post a Comment