To be a Dad, to be a Father

         People are too consumed with things in life that can but shouldn't be measured.  Life isn't about measurements or something one has over another person.  Every sunrise can't be seen, every snow fall can't be caught, not everyone falls in love, and not everyone dies happy.  You know, I've never thought I'd feel so secure about being so alone.  Society clearly has made it a mandatory action to get married and have babies.  Thing is, some people in this world weren't made for that.

        Sometimes a child is brought into this world with only half of what it truly needs. One parent always seems to be missing.  I've always had a mother in my life... a woman who stayed by my side through everything I did. A woman who loved me with an unmeasurable amount of love.  A woman that could easily surpass all other mothers in my eyes. Although my mother was clearly an amazing part of my life...I missed having a dad in a lot of my growing up stages.  I was born with a dad who then turned into father. If you come from a broken home, you more than understand the difference between the two.

        To be a father is to have a child.  To be a dad, is to be the strong, loving person for a child to always depend on.  Dads are supposed to be that tough figure that pisses you off but does it because he never wants to see his child get hurt.  Coming from a broken home, you tend to get used to people coming and going in your life.  Yet, you seem to never get used to not having a dad.  I was born with a dad that did nothing but care for his girls.  We were the only things that mattered to him... my sister and I that is.  Once we grew older and developed a mind of our own, his attachment to us seemed to drift...drift far far away!  My father became a very mean person, for the alcohol took control of the man we all knew he could be. 

       As of Christmas 2010, my father became a dad again after missing him for years. Still... It's not exactly what I always expected having a dad at the age of eighteen would be like.  When I think of a dad who has a young adult as a daughter, I think of a very protective figure.  A man that wouldn't let any boy near his child without the typical grilling. A man that always gets real defensive when his daughter talks about the older guys she hangs out with. My dad?  His words exactly after introducing him to a guy..."wrap it up."  Not exactly what I wanted my dad to say.  I want my dad to basically scare a guy so bad that he wouldn't think twice about harming me... but at the same time, how can my dad of all people try a preach to a choir about all the things he has never been. 

       I believe some people weren't made to have children.  Some men aren't capable of caring for a child's needs.  Some women don't know how to love a child as it needs to be loved.  Face it, some people were just made shitty.  So for all the criticism about how we were all made to find our "one" person, fall in love, and make babies... please knock it off.  This is a different time in age, meaning we have all figured out more about the human race.  Differences lie within each one of us, whether they are for the worse or for the better.  Life is what you make of it.  If you decide to make babies out of it... make sure you're the right type of parent before you ruin your child's vision of life.
        
                           Yours truly,
                         Amanda Rae