What if?

      

          "What If?" is a major question that is thrown around time to time.  We often wonder what could be different about our situations in life...not as if many people take the effort to make a change, they still ponder the thought.  Some situations are just simply impossible to change, so wondering "what if" seems to become quite over powering.




         I've been reading some other blogs and basically, I got more of a back bone than I thought I had before.  I read some intriguing stories and questioned myself, "Why do you constantly hide things?"  This blog is about who I am and what I view.  This entire time I thought it wasn't "right" to talk about things in my life, due to hurting or shocking a reader.  I'm not the secretive type, I just choose to not talk about certain things.  The fear of being judged has never concerned me either... I guess I'm just the "closed" type or I was too worried about letting someone close know how I felt about them.  Well that whole "What if?" question popped into my head.

Think about this one...
         What if I just don't care how I affect you, the reader, anymore.  You're choosing to read this blog, right?  No, I'm not going to come out and tell you all that I'm some massive murder or that I kill bunnies as a side job.  Those are obviously false accusations.  I'm going to put myself in some "What if" situations and basically elaborate how different my life
could have been.  (Don't mistake this! I love who I am more than you possibly have loved anything in your life.)  This is simply a blog to get the mind working and to discuss the make-up of who I am.

1. What if I had a functional family?


         This was the first question that popped into my mind.  Maybe this is due to the fact I'm recently having family problems, who knows? Point is I've never had that; white picket fence, two loving parents, dog in the front yard, welcoming home.  Then again, nobody truly does anymore. I have divorced parents and I'm living in my grandparents trailer in South Carolina because... well we are poor. I had a father who neglected me for the most important years of my life.  I have a mother who was more of a best friend than a mom, which wasn't always a good thing. My entire family's kryptonite is alcohol. I have a family member that nearly died from the refusal to put the bottle down and a grandfather who drinks coffee with his beer in the mornings (That's just gross!).

         Well if I had a functional family... I would either be the most obedient teenager or a sketchy kid who broke the rules.  Knowing my personality, I probably would have rebelled and became worse than I turned out. My parents probably would have no idea that I was crushing a xanex into a blunt in my room or popping bottles of Tequila at the party down the street.  See growing up, my mother was aware of everything I did. She knew about the alcohol, the weed, and the drug addiction.  Instead of trying to force me to stop, she allowed it. She must have known the kind of kid I was because I ended up quitting after a tragic experience and haven't touched a drug in nine months.  Parents who judge other parents for allowing certain things to happen behind closed doors, keep your judgments to your damn self! If she would have told me to stop, I'd still be hiding bars in my purse or smoking a cigarette in the school bathroom at lunch time.


2. What if I had my child?


         If you didn't know it yet, you know it now... I am supposed to a mother.  If it was a boy, his named would have been Jet Ryan Lamot. If it was a girl, her named would have been Kalen Marie Lamot.  I got pregnant at the age of sixteen with a boy who I thought was everything I needed in life.  Some good things come out of bad situations. The child unfortunately is not here today, but I also am no longer with the man who lied about his entire life.  But what if?  What if I had my baby on September 25th as planned?  



         Well for one, I'd love that child more than anything and most likely be stuck with a man who didn't care who he hurt in attempts to be dominant.  The distant family, who is bound to read this, probably would have shit their pants and called me a horrible child.  Well I had sex, got pregnant, and would have supported that child no matter what got in my way.  If that makes me a whore, failure, or whatever else you've got in mind... so be it!  For those who frown upon being a teenage mother, my child left this world February 26th 2010.  If you just smiled inside for the sakes of my future, I hope you fall off a cliff.


3. What if I believed in love? 


         A little insight for you readers, I didn't choose to believe or not believe in the things I do.  I don't think one can just force a thought into the mind and completely believe it.  I don't just refuse to be in love, I can't get my mind to accept it.  But, If I did...what would be different?  Would I "fall in love" with some boy?
         Maybe some of the previous boys I blew off would have stuck around. I would have been in more than three relationships and wouldn't enjoy being single in all aspects of life. I most likely would end up as just another heart broken girl on her desperate attempt to find her Mr. Right.  Thankfully this is just "What if" because the sound of that sends an impulse of nausea to my stomach.


         Wondering what could have happened or if that should have happened is basically a test for the pride within yourself.  No matter what question is brought upon you, you should always embrace the person you are.  "What if" questions just make me realize why I admire my family, who I've become, and every flaw I've got.

                                    Yours truly,
                                   Amanda Rae

Reminder!

To those who actually take the time to read what I've got to say... Remember one thing.  This blog was made for a learning experience.  In order to learn, I must get feedback or some sort of critique.  If you have time to read these blogs, please make time to tell me what I need to improve on or what you liked about the post.  Please and thank you.  -Amanda Rae

Crash!

          You wake up.  It's nine thirty but you were supposed to get up at seven. Your alarm clock is blinking because the power went out in the middle of the night.  You still have to get dressed, grab something to eat, and rush to work.  You keep trying to call your boss to tell them you are on the way, but you keep losing signal.  So as you are driving in a hurry down the road, everybody on the road seems to be driving under the speed limit, traffic is horrible, and you still can't get any service.  The world seems to be shitting on you basically.  Well that intense, horrible morning will get better!  You may get fired, lose a raise... the possibilities are endless... BUT life always gets better. In order for life to have a better outcome, you must make that outcome happen.  You can not sit back and let life fix itself, you have to take action.

          Readers, I'm going to let you in on some information in my life... I'm only seventeen but just as most people these days, I've had my tussles with many tragedies. I honestly have never had a good role model. Every thing in life I learned, I had to learn through an experience.  Whether it be drugs, sex, or violence. But throughout being a lousy child, I grew up and became a wonderful person.  Life is all about taking a horrible thing and making a better outcome.  You can never "give up" on the effort for a better life... because you can always, ALWAYS, achieve the greater. 

          I refuse to identify people, but I have a close person in my life who is drinking their life away. This person is the one who inspired me to continue my life with art and never give up on my talent.  I've tried numerous efforts to keep this person away from the drinking and keep to the things in life that make one happy.  Well every effort has failed and this person refuses to think of anyone except for themselves... So I informed this alcoholic that I will not watch them drink their life away and stepped away from this issue...no longer giving any effort to influence them to quit .  Am I wrong? Maybe.  But alcoholics know nothing other than the mood enhancer they drink out of a can or bottle every day.  The family, the friends, the pure amazement of having a life seems to vanish right before them, without even noticing.  A drunk drinks that reality away and never has to live with the pain like the sober ones around them.  My advice to you, don't drink to the point to where you become addicted.  An alcoholic is a failure, no matter what view point you are looking at it from.  They can achieve the sober life, with a tremendous effort... but it can be done.  

          Readers, simply think about life.  Life is so precious... whether you are living for yourself or living for a beautiful family.  The thought of taking each breath, walking with one foot in front of the other, being able to touch and feel, everything in life is amazing... don't ever take it for granted or do anything in life to fade that precious experience we are given.

                                        Just some insight from yours truly,

                                                     Amanda Rae

Wake Up World, We Are the Same...

          Hello Readers, I sincerely apologize for not posting a blog in a hot minute.  I've been actually caught in my social life and busy work.  BUT, I'm back and hitting a touchy subject tonight.

          Discrimination and Racism...two of the most outrageous characteristics people withhold these days.  To be racist, or discriminate against someone due to a physical quality is freaking ridiculous! This goes back to a previous blog about stereotypes against a male or female group, you can not simply judge everyone in a group by one persons' actions. 

          Racism, fortunately, is slowly dissolving out of our society over time.  Segregation is no longer legal, but it still occurs time to time.  I'm not just talking about racism or discrimination against African Americans either. Because I know that is the first thing that comes to mind when we think of racism.  On the subject of African Americans though...I'm just going to throw this statement out there.  White people do not hate black people, and for those who jump to conclusions that we do...you are more likely more racist than you make us out to be.  I get along with white, purple, yellow, black, gays, atheists, catholics, and obese people all the same.

          My topic is a general statement against all racists.  I can not grasp the concept on how you judge someone against there skin tone, religion, size, or sexual preferences.   I found out today that it is the legal right for certain restaurants in several states, to prohibit sale against an obese person or a gay/lesbian person.  The sound of that sends my blood boiling.  How is that physically possible for someone to say no to serving a human being because of who they like to have sex with or if they have more weight than an average person?  One, it's not as if a lesbian couple is going to show any more public affection than a straight couple. Two, an obese person may not be fat due to their eating habits and if it is because of their eating habits, they're are going to spend more money anyways...why would it be a problem? 

          My second argument with racism is the big issue about interracial marriages.  For the older generation, it used to be the problem against an interracial couple having children, due to the bullying towards the child.  Well I'm seventeen years old and I still am enrolled in high school.  Not once, NOT ONCE, have I seen a student be picked on due to a white and black parent.  One of my best friends actually has a white mother and black father.  She shows NO color of black in her skin tone, but her sister shows both colors of white and black.  Neither of these girls are picked on due to the color of their parents.  Maybe that was a big thing back in the day, but the modern times are moving forward and that is no longer a problem.  Yeah, maybe I haven't witnessed it myself...but think about what you are saying if you disagree with interracial couples having kids.  Two parents of different color simply can not have a child because they are not the same skin tone? WHAT?! If you can repeat that to yourself and have that make sense...then something is wrong in the way your thought process works. Just saying.

          Third, to many...this may be a touchy subject.  BUT, If you do not agree with this blog...don't view it.  I want to discuss the issue of calling a white person a "cracker" and calling a black person a "nigger."  Standing in a white person's shoes, no I do not know what it feels like to be black.  But I do know what it is like to be white and constantly be called racist.  I am not racist in any way!  I feel as if all people are equal until they make themselves unequal.  You have the choice whether or not to be part of a good society or bad society.  But if a black person chooses to call me by a racial slur, don't think I will hesitate to reply back with a racial slur.  One is not more derogatory than the other.  The word "cracker" is just as offensive to me as it is to call a black person a "nigger."  I do not use the term unless a term is used against me.  (Now for anyone who got offended by that, by reading this blog...you are fully aware I express MY views on situations. You do not have to agree, or even read these blogs. It's your choice)

          Racism and discrimination obviously is still an occurring thing around the world, but its your personal character whether or not you choose to portray that image.  The more you realize that judging a book by its cover is wrong, the more you'll realize how amazing people can truly be.

                          Yours truly,

                         Amanda Rae

How to deal with confrontation...

          Arguments, unfortunately are an essential part of life.  Every one argues, whether they intend to or not.   A conflict usually consists of two parties defending their point of view...which is why I must say, I love to argue.  An argument by someone shows that they will not back down to defend what they believe in.  

           Nine times out of ten, nobody is truly going to win or really even solve the conflict...it'll just be settled or put off for another dispute. So what is the key to confrontation you might ask? 

There are three things to keep in mind when arguing...

1. KEEP THE EMOTIONS OUT OF IT.

          The problem most people experience when they argue is getting tied up in the emotional ordeal.  Too many people fall upon anger, sadness, or anxiety while in the heat of a dispute. When a emotion such as anger rises into the equation, your responses are more than likely going to sound just as flustered as you feel.  If you link sadness into the confrontation, then, tears are going to come into the equation and...well... then you just automatically lost. Leave those unnecessary emotions behind when it comes to cracking time.  

2. ADMIT WHEN YOU ARE WRONG.

          Remember Readers, you can be wrong! Factual arguments are going to have a right, wrong, or indifferent conclusion.  If you are wrong, accept it.  If the other is wrong, don't throw your hands in the air and celebrate.  Let's stay scholarly and professional with these things. When an argument has two mature people working in it, the conclusion is usually going to end up the right way.  

3. TAKE NO OFFENSE. 

          Any confrontation CAN be done without two parties ending in a angry state.  For example, the reason I wrote this blog today is due to a very heated dispute my sister and I got into today.  It was about a personal subject that we both had very diverse opinions on. In the beginning we both expressed anger and the argument just escalated. After we had enough of the yelling and profanity, we started to speak like normal human beings and "talk" it out.  In the end, we went right back to laughing and having a normal conversation.  We aren't asking for a life story when we decide to dispute, we just want to know your reasoning behind the views you express.  The key is calm, cooperative talking.  A confrontation is all about growing as a person.  If you are acceptive to debate it out, then you are acceptive to grow or learn from it.  Honestly, most of the time, you are going to benefit from the dispute...whether you are wrong OR right.  So keep your ears open and listen to your competitor. 

          And readers, remember...there is always an option to just walk away.  Yes, this may be the right choice when you find yourself in front of a confrontation with an immature defender.  If you know you can not gain from an argument, don't get involved.  When it comes to defending your beliefs and the person you are, don't back down!  This world needs more people who believe in right to stand up for themselves. 

         

                                                   Yours truly,

                                                 Amanda Rae 

Hello Solitude.

          Welcome to a new day my readers.  Today is Pie day, which rhymes with "My Day!"  I chose this day to talk all about me! As Toby Keith says, "I wanna talk about me, wanna talk about I." Obviously I know who I am, and I believe most of you reading this have a good understanding of the person I am...but I feel a need to further explain exactly who I, Amanda Rae, is.

          I consist of a complex mind, big dreams, and a strong will.  My eyes have only seen moments beyond seventeen years, but my mind has experienced so much more.  As I said before, all secrets are out my friends.  I'm not holding a darn thing back.  

          I'm basically your typical seventeen year old teenager, trying to make a difference in this world.  I've had my times when my nose just wasn't in the dirt, I was basically buried in the dirt.  I had times when I wasn't walking on water, I was walking on the clouds.  I've been a drug addict, an alcoholic, a whore, jail bird, and almost a mother.  Life is hard for all, but if one can handle a situation in the correct manner, one can benefit from even the worst experiences.  I've found myself thanking the ones who have caused me pain, because due to their wretched soul...I've become a stronger person than they have ever fathomed of being.  

          We all have our faults in life, and things we wish we could take back.  But once you look back on the steps you've already taken in life, and are happy with the shoes you're walking in...then don't frown upon the past, embrace it!  If you find yourself not satisfied with the person you are, you aren't dead yet...there is time to change. 

          I have been clean of drugs for over eight months, and no longer step near a car if the driver has consumed any alcohol.  I've learned in recent years that each moment of life should be cherished, and a sober moment is cherished more than a drunken moment. A second of thrill can lead to the ending second that is last remembered.  

          Readers, I became very interested to see how others view me.  In my eyes, I am diverse and complex.  If you read my first blog, you'd remember the way I described the functions of my brain.  A cavity full of twisted, interloping tubes and wires that all lead to one thing...one unknown thing.  I've got a purpose for all of these thoughts, but I just haven't figured it out yet.  I got a little help from my fellow students, friends, and family.  I asked a variety of people to describe me in one or two words.  I asked people who knew everything about me, to people who barely knew me at all.  I'm going to share 25 of the responses I got;

1. Sarcastic
2. Talkative
3. Outspoken
4. Creative
5. Artistic
6. Insecure
7. Feisty
8. Outgoing
9. Short-tempered
10. Tall
11. White
12. Random
13. Strong-willed
14. Fearful
15. Complicated
16. Pretty
17. Over-Achiever
18. Unique
19. Artistic 
20. Awesome
21. Artistic
22. Perseverant
23. Thoughtful
24. Insightful
25. Honest

          I chose five to give the most insight too. Though they may not make sense together...it furthers my point of being a diverse being.

1. Strong-willed - (Heather Noles, a very close friend)  I am very strong willed.  I block out a lot of emotions to not let them get the best of me. In my belief, if one does not have emotions...one has nothing to lose.  If you can never be hurt, you never need time to regather yourself.  I save time in my daily schedule without getting caught up in the emotional attachment of someone or something.

2. Insecure- (Spencer Reihl, a fellow student who knows very little about me) After he said it, my jaw dropped. One, I don't discuss emotions or any insecurities with anyone...let alone in the classroom. He told me not to get offended, but his insight was exceptionally admirable. He further explained that even in daily routines in the classroom, he finds me correcting myself out-loud.  If I mess up on a word, trip into something...he says I call myself out even when nobody is paying attention.  He is a very intelligent guy, who is obviously very observant.  He completed that interpretation, leaving me with no further explanation.

3. Fearful- (Heather Noles, again) Of course, friends know you better than you do sometimes.  For those who know I'm one of the toughest people, mentally.  I AM very fearful!  I am fearful of knowing I might eventually care for someone, care for someone uncontrollably. You see, I pull away from a lot of things, because I keep my emotions under control.  One day, I might not be able to control them, and it scares me beyond belief.

4. Sarcastic - (Mrs. Hanna, my art teacher)  Oh Sarcasm, how you are my best friend.  Covering up emotions takes a lot of work, and then sarcasm comes along.  My sarcasm is used to mend my personal agony, so it tends to come out quite frequently.

5. Persevering-  (Jason Bryant, my brother) Never give up on anything, because the moment you give up...is the moment you regret. I have a die hard or go home attitude in everything I do in life.  I compete with myself at times just to keep a continuous improvement. 

          

          I am a package of many different emotions, thoughts, and arguments.  I am not asking you to accept my ways or even who I am...because lord knows, most people don't accept the opposite of ordinary. 

                            Yours truly,

                        Amanda Rae

One mind, one experience, different views.

Dear Readers, sorry for the absence of posts this past weekend...it's been a busy one.
          Last week I had discussion in my art class about expressing ones' feelings.  I asked, "To talk or not to talk?  Does it help to talk about your feelings, or does it just make it worse? What exactly is the point of expressing your pain through words?"  Personally, I choose to keep painful experiences inside and my brain deals with making them go away.  I chose to write about this because I've always been told I need to "talk" to someone and let my emotions out.  I got some very intelligent responses. Of course the basic answer is, it depends on who you are.  Well I wanted to reach further than that...So after gathering my information, I came to this conclusion;

         Yes, everyone IS different, but a tragedy in one's life may be a daily event for another.  You see, you can't really judge someone's pain to another's.  I relate it to this...a person who has been hit by their boyfriend for the first time can express that as a horrible experience.  BUT, a guy that just broke up with a girl for the first time experiences just as much agony, just in a different way.  Now when it comes to expressing your grief, you must WANT to express it.  One can not be forced to talk about their feelings, or you won't get the true feelings.  Some people are great at expressing themselves, and truly do feel better after doing it.  Others, don't do well verbally expressing emotions, so talking about painful emotions just brings up more mind bearing pain.
          For me, I find it easier when I "bottle up" my emotions.  I feel as if something inside of me slowly chips them away until they just disappear from my thoughts.  Yeah, it may take a while, but it takes me ten times longer to deal with something when someone else knows about it.  If I'm the only one who knows I'm hurt...well then I'm the only one that has to deal with it.  If another person knows about my pain, they try to help you but words don't fix a hurt soul.  On the other hand, some people feel as if another person DOES know about their pain, they AREN'T the only one dealing with it.  A girl told me after I asked her the topic question, "I think it helps to talk about your feelings.  Not to put it on the other person, but to know you aren't the only one worrying about it."  Although it is the complete opposite of how I feel, I think it is a great arguing point.  Most people see things from one side, but when you take a look at the other side...you realize there is more than one way to deal with something.
          As I said before, one's pain can not be compared to another.  It almost like comparing a man's penis size to a woman's breast size, it just doesn't make sense. Our minds are so complex and work in a plethora of different ways, just depending on who's eyes the world is being seen through.  The most common thing I hear when someone is going through a tragic experience is, "It could be worse."  Readers, I must say I disagree to an extent.  Yes, it could be worse in the event of death or even a close to death struggle...But my worst experience is obviously not going to be the same as yours.  Similar to what I stated earlier, if a vegetarian eats meat on accident or you were disowned by yours parents...they are equally as painful to each person going through the tragedy.
          The answer is, find out what is right for you.  If you are person who must talk about things and share them with the ones close to you, then by all means share those emotions.  And if you are one who likes to keep your emotions hidden, or likes to think you don't even have emotions, keep them bottled up.  Don't let someone else influence how you take care of your pain... keep in mind they don't feel through the same skin, look through the same eyes, or hear the same things you do! We are all our own person.

                          Yours truly,
                        Amanda Rae

Not Flaws According to me

            Alright, I am pissed. I'm just going to be honest.  

          Today I was trying on jeans.  Due to my poor eating habits and lack of exercising lately, I've gotten a little "thick".  So, all of the jeans didn't fit. Though, this isn't what I was upset about because I know I can lose weight once I start working out again.  I must say, it got me thinking though...We all have flaws, correct?  Perfection isn't an option, because perfection is an image in one's mind that can alter depending on the view point.  Well Readers, I got thinking.  What exactly is a flaw?  I simply wanted a clear definition from another source that explained to me what a flaw is...So where did I turn?  Dictionary.com of course! WELL....according to dictionary.com a flaw is "a feature that mars the perfection of something; defect". I couldn't possibly disagree with them more than I do.  

          I'm going to list my biggest flaws for all my readers to see right now, because to me a flaw is something that adds character and should not be frowned upon!

• Acne
• Big thighs
• Braces
• Yellow teeth from smoking
• Love handles that create a huge muffin top
• I have a birth mark on my left forearm that is really aggravating
• Frizzy, fried hair
• Long, finger toes
• Big feet. Size 9 1/2 to be exact.
• Big forehead...perfect for all that acne.

          My point of listing these is to not ask for you to disagree with my flaws and for you to call me beautiful, but to show those reading, that I am not uncomfortable with my flaws. I am fully aware that they are there; and not just visible to me but to every one who looks at me.  So trying to hide them and act like they aren't there, is as affective as talking to the wall.  I try to express my flaws as not a bad thing, but something that adds to the person I am.  Along with flaws, comes great qualities. Because Readers, I've got some great physical attributes as well...

• Big, bright, blue eyes
• Big soft lips
• Long Legs
• Long pretty nails
• Nice rear end

          We as human beings are complex individuals.  One can not expect perfection with out receiving disappointment.  I'm tired of people looking at flaws as defects.  Let's take those flaws and make them into beauty!

          To those actually reading this, I've got a little test for you.  Post a comment, you can post it anonymous.  I want this comment to be one of your major flaws.  Most people feel more comfortable knowing someone else has a problem similar to theirs, so if we can get more people to announce their flaws, maybe more people will be less insecure about how they look.

                                          Yours truly,

                                        Amanda Rae

Truth comes out a little at a time...

          Hello Readers, once again.  Today I'm going to talk about a subject that comes up very often for me.  That wonderful thing to you, horrible thing to me, called love.  Many of you reading this are fully aware I do not believe in love.  I simply think its an emotion made up in the mind, followed out by society's control of dragging it out.  Yes, I'm only seventeen, and my opinions are bound to change at some moment in my life.  But, I honestly don't see this one changing.  Two words that I feel have no meaning behind them are 'forever' and 'love'.

          Now, don't get me wrong. I do believe two people can be happy together. I have been in two serious relationships, and one or two week-long relationships.  I am not a girl who likes to be in a relationship, or let alone recommends them. I believe getting in a relationship, being a non-believer in love, is basically setting one's self up for failure.  I've felt that happiness when you see a guy.  The moment you first kiss where you feel like you two have been lifted off your feet.  The way your throat feels fuzzy when he strokes your neck. I've felt those emotions, but it wasn't love my folks...It was a moment of happiness that I let someone else bring me.  Those days are gone, but the one's where I make myself happier, seem to be a much different happiness.  

          To know that you can bring a smile upon yourself, make yourself feel beautiful, and live each day without the emotional baggage of another person...is beyond enthralling. Society has forced the eloping of man and woman so far, that it must happen in order to be normal.  Well you know what Readers, I'm tired of feeling like I'm an outcast because I don't believe in love or think I'll ever get married. Not because I don't see myself in that white dress, or having beautiful children...but because I want to prove it to the world I can be just as happy being an independent woman.  

          You ask me, do I miss the feeling of a guy caring for me?  To be honest, yes at times. Shockingly though, I find myself missing my happiness as an individual when I'm in a relationship, much more.  Keep in mind, I am not asking anyone to feel the way I feel or do as I do.  Lord knows, it takes a lot of mental strength to get where I am at now.  The purpose of this is to get readers to grasp an understanding on my views. A little exercise for those who try hard to be wanted by the opposite sex, stop trying! Because, if and I stress IF...you believe in love, you'd know that kind of happiness should not be a scavenger hunt.

                                        Yours truly,

                                      Amanda Rae 

PS:  Please, readers, if you have any questions or disagreements about my views...feel free to post them.  I'm acceptive of negative or positive feedback.

Women Vs. Men,

         Alright Readers, get ready for this one... Today I decided to do a man versus woman experiment.  My goal was to see the first negative thing that came to mind when one thought about the other sex.  I gathered fifty responses today from both males and females. Followed by my feedback will be each and every response I was given. Now, for those who gave me feedback, I must say thank you.  I also must say, there is no true explanation on how the human mind works in certain sexes....we are all individuals working with a mind of our own.  If you disagree, you agree.  Just think about it.

         As I asked my simple question, "What bothers you about the other sex?", I got a lot of answers followed with some sort of story.  Well you see, you aren't really thinking about all of men or women, you are relating it to one person.  So can one person really affect how we view the entire opposite sex?  Take a moment to think about that... You may know one man or woman who has asked too many questions, taken everything too seriously, or simply was just a jaded person.  At the same time, we all know one man or woman who doesn't fit that category.

         This project was simply a stereotypical experiment.  To the three people who responded with, "Not all men/women are, but...",  I give my kudos to you.  You just beat the challenge.  You see, saying all men are immature and all women are whinny is incorrect.  I know we have all met a guy that just simply cries over the smallest things and a girl who makes a small situation into something bigger by just being childish.  My point of this questioning was to see how many stereotypical people there really were. Well, there are a lot. Three out of fifty people made it known that they did not feel this way about all of men or women.  Everyone else just gave me an answer and was completely satisfied by it.  They may or may not feel that way about the entire opposite sex, but they didn't seem to make any efforts to show anything differently.

         My point to you, my readers, is next time you are asked a question about a certain group of people...why relate it to one person? You don't believe you are like the rest of women or men, do you?  Then don't relate someone else that way.  We all go through our own life experiences that makes up view life and act upon things differently.  This is not because we are male or female, this is just the way our mind as an individual has grown to work.  Let's make a difference readers. 

                                        Yours truly,

                                       Amanda Rae

PS. Here are the responses I was given. The mens' responses will be in pink and the females' responses will be in blue.

1. "They can pee standing up"
2. "Boys can flirt and do things that girls can not do without being called a whore"
3. "Jealously"
4. "Genetics of how their minds work. Completely different from females. 
5. "How men just fart and burp in public"
6. "How complicated they are"
7. "How they never know what they want"
8. "They only want one thing, sex!"
9. "Hair"
10. "Girls whine a lot"
11. "They are just upfront about publicly burping, scratching, farting, or announcing they must take a s***"
12. "girls care too much about what boys say" 
13. "Girls always win arguments" 
14. "They don't care about the little things"
15. "Guys are too controlling"
16. "mood swings"
17. "Most women are stupid"
18. "They are controlling. Females just have a desire for control"
19. "They show off in front of other boys"
20. "Men judge on physical appearance"
21. "Horny little bastards"
22. "Girls can never be clear about what they want"
23. "girls ask too many irritating questions"
24. "they are needy in the sense, they need a man to feel complete"
25. "Guys are tough physically and emotionally and don't get hurt like females"
26. "They don't do things unless ask.  Men tend to work the long way to get things done"
27. "stubborn and dominant"
28. "Men are controlling"
29. "Guys are self absorbed and think they are entitled to things."  
30. "Men ask questions without taking emotions into consideration"
31. "Females take forever to shop and are picky about things that don't matter."
32. "drama"
33. "Easily distracted"
34. "Fall in love too quickly"
35. "Men don't have to go through what we go through. They are just B****es"
36. "Girls tease guys too much"
37. "Childish"
38. "Attitude"
39. "drama"...again
40. "Females never know what they want"
41. "They want things to go their way"
42. "Men always want sex"
43. "Needy. They always want something"
44. "Talk too much"
45. "Attitude"
46. "Men are liars, for unnecessary things"
47. "They are immature"
48. "Men have a hard time being able to openly communicate"
49. "Ask too many questions"

  And my response;

   50. The one negative thing that comes to mind when I think about men is...the society that makes up this world has made it almost impossible to feel normal and being accepted without being with one of y'all.

Reaching out,

         I am reaching out in a new way today. I have started this blog in attempts to better myself in various ways. The main reason is to better my skills in writing. You see, whom ever is reading this, I aspire to be a news and media journalist in the Navy. Better known as a MC (Mass Communications Specialists.) An advantage of practicing my skills in writing, is to let my mind free of all the thoughts I keep locked up. No more secrets.  If you read this, you read me.

         Now readers, lets start out with a minor bit of information about yours truly, me!  My legal name is Amanda Wheeler, but people know me as Amanda Rae.  My eyes have only see a little past seventeen years, while my mind and body has experienced much more.  I am a very complex individual, whom has a lot of expressed opinions.  As human beings, we all have opinions and thoughts, but one who actually uses them is a person worth while.  Life is all about expressing who you are, correct? So why hold anything back?
        Like ALL of society, I have a mother and father...and like MOST of society, I have a mother and father whom are no longer together.  It's a sad thing, but I've come to realize...nothing in life is forever, not even the make believe feeling of love. Yes readers, you read that correctly.  The "make believe feeling of love."  Most do not agree, and say one day I will disagree as well, but for now, love does not exist.  Love is a pure emotion that the mind becomes addicted to.  Once you fight off the addiction and craving for something, you no longer ever wish to desire it.  I have been in three relationships and was proven right about my theory each time.  So my thanks goes to you boys!
         When I say my body has experienced far beyond seventeen years, I do not use that as a play on words.  I speak from the truth.  I can lay ten dollars on the table and bet you that you have probably heard, "Don't bottle everything up inside, it's not healthy!"  Please do not listen to them.  This most likely coming from the same people who "do everything from the heart."  I'm sorry to ruin it for the world, but your heart is made up of four chambers that pump blood.  No emotions are from the heart, they are made up in your brain and released through actions.  So to tell someone to not bottle something up, and to speak about it, is basically absurd. Speaking about a problem only brings up more pain and tension inside the body.  So please, bottle up those emotions if you must.  I've been doing it since I was the age of eight, and I believe I turned out quite well.
          I understand I am writing all over the place, in the sense that nothing I'm writing about really seems to flow together.  Well, welcome to my mind.  If I could take a picture of my mind, I have a feeling this it what it would look like...A complex cavity of tubes, wires, caves, and many other things that all end up at one place. This place is unknown at the moment, but once I find out the meaning of all these thoughts...I will quickly inform y'all.
          My goal of this blog is to write something daily. If it must be a quote I've made up, or something I want to quickly express.  This is not facebook, and I will not post song lyrics, famous quotes, or silly sayings.  Everything that is put on this blog is directly from the mind and typed out onto the computer. So enjoy ladies and gentlemen.
                                      Yours truly,
                                                        Amanda Rae